You recognise some forms of bullying immediately. Yelling. Threats. Aggression. Public humiliation. But a lot of workplace bullying doesn’t look like that at all. It’s quite polite, actually.
If you are always the team member to pop your head up to find that you haven’t been invited to yet another meeting – it’s probably bullying. Maybe you’re always leaving the office deflated from constantly being the only one to have your work nitpicked. And have you found yourself staring into your morning coffee, hoping the punchline to that last joke will eventually become obvious and funny? Because if it doesn’t, and that was another dig at your expense, it’s probably bullying.
Perhaps you’re at your laptop late at night to meet the usual, unrealistic deadline that isn’t humanly possible during your paid hours. If you’re consistently having to give more to work than what your salary covers, it is probably bullying.
Being singled out and excluded from conversations, especially ones that affect you and your role – it’s probably bullying.
Maybe it’s that every time you contribute to a conversation, there’s someone speaking over the top of you. And hello, anxiety! Your trusty old friend who’s always ready to show up any time you need to interact with that one, specific person. It’s probably due to bullying.
All of these types of behaviours are so subtle that you question whether it’s bullying. After all, you heard please and thank you’s and sometimes you get an apology for being left off the invite. ‘Oh I’m sorry, I meant for you to get that too’. The bullying itself can be so sophisticated that people often spend months – sometimes years – telling themselves they’re overreacting.
But they are not overreacting or alone in their experiences because in Aotearoa, 1 in 5 workers have experienced bullying behaviour frequently in the past 12 months.
Putting a stop to workplace bullying means building a culture where everyone feels safe, valued and heard. That’s how we move beyond banter, challenge harmful behaviour, and make our workplaces somewhere where all of our kaimahi, workers feel a sense of true belonging.
What is bullying?
WorkSafe New Zealand defines workplace bullying as repeated and unreasonable behaviour that can lead to physical or psychological harm.
The important word here is repeated.
One single, awkward interaction isn’t usually bullying. But the patterns in behaviour matter. And so does power.
People experiencing bullying often feel unable to protect themselves because there’s a real or perceived imbalance of power.
The imbalance could be a manager, a senior colleague or someone who is socially influential. You’ll also spot it in team cultures that reward intimidation.
And here’s the kicker – bullying often becomes normal. Sometimes, one person’s actions can set the tone for the entire workplace. The whole culture starts to warp around the bad behaviour instead of calling it out.
People stay quiet.
Avoid conflict.
Warn new staff privately.
Laugh things off simply to survive.
The High Cost of Bullying
Bullying doesn’t just affect morale.
It can affect the trust and confidence throughout the organisation. Productivity rates drop. In workplaces with poor staff retention and high absenteeism, there is also a team culture that has allowed bullying to thrive. But that’s not all – creativity fizzles out fast when people are too scared to speak up or try new things. Sometimes, one person or group decides who gets a seat at the table for creative projects and big ideas.
But the highest and sometimes irreversible cost for our people is to individuals’ mental health. Some don’t lose confidence in just themselves. They lose confidence in workplaces altogether.
People who encounter workplace bullying are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, stress, and burnout.
And the impact of that often follows them home – long after they leave.
What a Healthy Workplace Culture Actually Looks Like
Healthy workplaces aren’t somewhere that exists without conflict. They’re workplaces where reflection is encouraged, and feedback is given respectfully. Leaders take concerns seriously and actually show what accountability looks like. People feel safe speaking honestly when there is a positive team culture, because inclusion is active, not performative.
You don’t build culture with posters on a wall.
You build culture through what you do every day and who is heard, protected, believed and – who is ignored.
Pink Shirt Day matters because it opens the conversation.
But the real work happens every day.
Real change begins with each of us – every conversation, every decision to speak up, every moment we choose respect over silence. Ending workplace bullying isn’t about one day a year; it’s about building a culture where everyone feels safe, valued, and heard. That’s how we move beyond banter, challenge harmful behaviour, and make our workplaces places of true belonging.
Kōrero Mai, Kōrero Atu, Mauri Tū, Mauri Ora
Speak Up, Stand Together, Stop Bullying!
Helpful Resources
Here are some helpful resources for dealing with bullying in the workplace, understanding more about workplace obligations, support for reporting problem behaviour and to support your wellbeing through challenging moments.
Pink Shirt Day | Workplace Guide
A resource designed to help workplaces build positive environments and prevent bullying.
Worksafe | Bullying
Tools and resources for businesses and workers to help guide you in preventing bullying in the workplace